I just want to know what myself want.. I really sad, really moody with what I did and those idiot things that I hope...
I promised myself to give up, because nothing will good for me. It's not the first time i got hurt. Not the second time too. I force myself not to drop any tears.
Yea, I did it!
I think since last week till now I can control my tears. But I'm not happy with that. I super down! I just want to let my tears drop down. I just wanna cry.
I really don't know what myself want, keeping the sadness tears inside the heart, don't want let them drop down. Sometimes asking myself to give up but sometimes still will miss what he said and what he did.
Midnight wake up and look at the phone see got any msg from him anot. Online look for him. Always check the phone. Just wait wait wait.. waiting his msg all the time.
Very happy when I heard my phone "driang", got msg! Run from downstairs to my room, but when I saw that's not his name, thats not his msg. My mood suddenly changed, I feel super disappointed.
I am not those people who can really really happy for all the time. I'm a gal who very easy to drop down my tears but not in front of others. I very easy to get happy but very easy to get sad too. I'm a weird person who don't like to let others know what I really want and need.
Just let others people do for me whatever things that they will feel happy and better. But finally I know those things not I really love, like and need. I love you for no reason. I let you choosed before the way that you want. But you come back to me said sorry that you choose wrong way and hurt me.
.... I let you do whatever thing you like. Let you be as happy as you want. Let you choose what you really need.
I will let you go now. Think nicely what you really need. I don't want let myself to get hurt from you anymore. I am super tired.
....................
I made a wish before, I never change the wish. I wish everyone who around me can get happy and healthy.
Feel back is that everyone happy and healty?
Grandpa pass away.. not healty and everyone is so down and sad with that. Friends always got problem that I cant help, they always got problems. Family.. Sometimes this sad sometimes that sad. Sometimes argue.
My wish never come true before?
Maybe this is what human need to face.
Or because only myself feel sad so I said out whatever idiot thiing that not suitable?
I want to hugging someone and cry out the sadness tears that droping inside my heart..
I cant control myself now.. my tears going to drop..
='(
Whatever you feel or you think of me. Positif or negatif things I also don't care at all. I just want to be back myself.
