I wanna get the answer from my parents but I don't know how to ask. I felt tired. Every weekend or holidays I have to go shop and help my parents work. I need to work form the morning to night, sometimes will reach home at 12something.
My parents will always said, holidays must go shop help, if not will not enough worker, or they scared the worker lazy.. Just many many things. They got 1000++ reason to ask me go work. I'm not saying I don't want help them work.
The point is I'm still a student, I still studying, I still have a lot of homework to do, I still need to catch up my study. My mum will always said, "Everytime ask you help me, you sure say you're busy."
Yea, another reason that I felt tired because I'm lazy! I don't want Monday to Friday go school study, then Saturday and Sunday need to go shop. I super super lazy and tired! I have no time for myself.
My parents like to scold I always play basketball, join this join that, and made until I don't like to study or made until my result full of colours.
Why don't they think if I everyday go work, my result will full of the colours too? argggggggggggggggggggg..
Even my aunt also ask me, "you not need study edy? everyday go work only?"
the reason of I seldom update my blog because I don't have time to update it. I feel my life is boring and tired.
Where is my happy life? huh?
Last few weeks my dad already told me this coming Hari Raya holidays I have to go help. I willing to help if I have no exam after the holidays. But I don't know how to say NO to my parents. They are complaining they not enough workers lah, this lah, that lah.
The 1000++ reason will make me go help.
I will help, but I am unhappy. I don't know why. I still got two more weeks then I have to face my Final Exam, but my parents never care about it, or I think they never care about it.
When things i hope they will help me or care about me, they don't care about it at all. But when things that I don't want they care about it, they care so much!
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
This early morning my mum scolded me and said about me, it's so many things come out to my mind. I was siiting behind her and my tears was keep droping. I really don't understand what they thinking about me. WHAT KIND OF CHILD I AM! They will only scold me about things that they don't understand.
They don't understand me at all, and they will always think that they know me so much because I'm their child.
No one will understand me!
My mum like to scold me, she said I always think that no one are caring me and concern me. yea. I really think about this. I wanna ask her is she understand me. She like never love me before. yea people will say no parents hate their hate, every parents will love their child.
But I can't get the love! I like never get the feeling of love in my life. I feel like killing myself all the times. In my parents mind, I'm not a good daughter, they will only think I'm a bad child, I will join with the noti child, I will play basketball until don't study, I always hang out with friends, always go out, go here go there, never study........................
Or I cannot complain about this, because the GOD gave me this kind of life. My brother is the only son in the family so my parents will love him much, my sister is a good good sister/daughter that my mum always say she's good, she good in study, many many things. My parents love my both younger sisters so much. Because they are forever small in their life.
A big family is a family that many people will jealous. I doesn't mean that I don't like my family. I love them. but my parents don't like me and it made until I don't know where to go. They like can't see me at all. They will only saw me when I wanna scold someone or in the bad mood. They will scold me when they don't understand what is happening!
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ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
